Not everyone can get ass. Some people are good at building rockets. You’re good at sleeping with many men. It’s an art.
My stomach is making the worst sounds, probably because there is nothing but semen in it.
whispering "taste the rainbow" well having sex isn't my biggest turn on.
dude, seriously he just sucked the milk out of the dogs breast and swallowed it... for $20, wtf....?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ever have those mornings where you just can't wait to puke in the shower?
Everything tastes like hotdogs and shame.
If I can't pick up a cat lady, I probably need to turn to Internet dating.
He ate shrooms at 9:30, said, "see you later," and left. I am alone on New Years.
Drinking hard cider in a room full of freshman girls. Never felt so secure of my manhood
I probably wouldn't
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
SCOTCH AND CIGARS AT THE TITTY BAR. YOU ARE COMING WITH US.
I feel like I should treat myself every time I find out I'm not pregnant. Is there a pie company that delivers??
What happened to no more shots?
It went out the window just like my dreams
So, Kevin dropping me off at urgent care. Seems my tampon slipped out of reach. Even after he tried to get it out with some kitchen tongs.
You thought the flashing lights were strobe lights when they were loading you into the ambulance. You asked the EMT if he had any X.
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
Randomize