Do you think they could tell I was high on that conf call?
It's always exciting to touch a new boob.
how drunk are you?
What does that even mean anymore?
i made sure i dropped the whole "im a yoga teacher" bomb which basically roofies a guys sense of judgement and guarantees he will sleep with me.
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i hate always having to make my eye shadow look really good since my eyes always end up closed by the end of the night in pics
says the girl that drank her shots like they were in a dog bowl
We had a 30 min conversation last night about whether or not to bone that girl with a lisp to see if she moans with one...
As a general rule, drunkenness and gymnastics do not mix.
I told him I would only take his calls if he was dead, dying, capturing a midget, or buying me shots.
I stand by my new policy.
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We set around a table in a hotel room and he spoon fed Molly to everyone there... I felt sketch for sec but then... Oh well.
You just had sex during the movie Radio. This is an all time low
I'm not 100 percent on this, but I think I just shit a lump of cement. What the fuck happened last night?
like I'd leave you in a situation like that..pfft. what kinda friend do you think I am?
...a stoned one.
He was cute in a Sketchy-trying-to-sell-you-a-vaccum-at-9-at-night kinda way.
I'm just too horny to handle empty house
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