Oh, don't even get me started. Harry Potter is so pure. Twilight is just teenage girl porn.
Most awkward thing ever: Meeting your BattleShits opponent post war.
Since when is my name a synonym for head?
Just found out that I was singing john legend songs as I threw up last night. Quality.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well, McDonalds 'escorted' me out after I passed out mid-order
the trick is not to think about where her tounge has been.
I hope this adventure ends at a hospital
Duuuude - Drag Queen Bingo wasn't supposed to end like thissss
Could have had sex with an ex NFL kicker last night.
That would've been embarrassing.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We're over by the bouncy castles. I'm the one wearing a baby. Bring Twizzlers.
fuck that its my house. if i want to take 1 bite out of the chicken & leave the rest i fucking will. suck my dick
Give me 20 minutes.. I'm going to need to start off with an orgasm to get through this day
I was on antibiotics for a bladder infection and couldn't drink and you told me there was no longer room in your life for me.
Who brings a stripper home to ninja turtle bed sheets
Me and I got head
Dude, he turned on “London Bridge” by Fergie and GAVE ME A LAP DANCE.
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