she didnt even puke last nite, shes finally hit champion status. i think im in love
It's just a condom. Most people would commend me for saying I was going to start using them, and you're acting like I'm going to try heroin.
The doctor told me if I woke up with a broken foot and don't know how it happened, I might want to look into getting treatment.
Please brint me miilk. I am on the floor but my door is open. Thank you, i appreciate u verry much.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't know when it is this year, but if I ever text you an illegible text that also happens to contain sharks, Shark Week started.
Wesley I'm sober and my body hurts. There wasn't much trust in any of those falls.
I have lots of feelings today, but drunk is my favorite.
I know I don't have feelings for him because I feel completely ashamed every time after we have sex
It was so small.
Tiny. Got to love sexting. Imagine finding out the old fashioned way.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My cat is staring at me while I drink my wine on the bathroom floor in the morning instead of attending class. Sorry mom and dad. Sorry cat.
I haven't included my nuts in a shave since the Shaq/kobe Lakers era. I gave my self the ol full court press in order to change the tempo.
Between randomly bursting into tears and the reappearance of my lost sex drive, this break up has left me bizarrely damp.
Can we talk about how i drunkenly changed the timezone on my phone last night and just showed up to work an hour early
I've had more orgasms than showers this week.
She wanted to get out of there before you guys woke up so she wouldn't let me find my underwear. Lol So I apologize to whoever finds that in your room.
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