im orety awesome arent i? relly i know i am
this girl just gave me her phone number and 5 mins later right in front of me she is giving her number to another dude
call her and ask her what she thinks she's doing
woke up naked, spooning with wine bottle.. and my video chat was still open. fuck, not again.
Everytime I know she spent a lot of time on her hair for one of our dates, I intentionally cum on the top of her head. That's how she knows I pay attention.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
college stoner meal of the day: microwaved nutrigrain bars
the back of my hand read, "say no to drugs." my palm read, "say yes to shots." when the fuck did I write that?
also, add "teaching boys to sext" to my charity work
Even when you're down just know that I will always be the one to pour alcohol into your asshole when you're on probation
Btw. U, me, male strippers, beer. Gonna happen. We could totally get TNT from like u know TNT places
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The perfect man would keep a whisky sour in my hand and give me endless sex. I really don't think that's too much to ask for.
his mom called during sex and he made me talk to her I think we're getting serious
you're like an angel sent from heaven to guide my sex life into greatness
Thats so sweet
I have no idea, I usually just project my awkwardness out like a mating call until it draws other awkward members of the opposite sex out from the bushes
I yelled at your uterus for you.
They should invent shampoo and conditioner for sex hair. I would buy all the travel size ones.
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