Pat told us he showed us his penis because he's "a nice guy".
i just walked by a road side game of beer pong? it's gonna be a long day
it turns out jennifers body is not good to beat off to. yeah its megan fox but when she pukes up blood = goodbye boner
you guys are cousins why the FUCK are your pants off
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It was one time. Now I have to constantly remind her my name is Jessica not Jizzica.
We are lost. Everyone is drunk and it all went downhill after we iced the bus driver.
Ps I don't think it counts as being open minded if you didn't know he was missing a leg until you had already started making out.
I want him to be my next love. So I'm taking it slow
As in ill only blow him next week
Shit, I may have left some acid in your bathroom last night. Has he been in there lately.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He wouldn't let me go down on him. He stopped me and told me he was a giver.
Why do you have an empty bottle of port in your bathroom bin?
it still weirds me out that Robin Thicke is Alan Thicke's son
Our first order of business as new roommates was to test the sex acoustics of our rooms. I need a new box spring.
Also epiphany: I gotta quit fucking with dudes that have never seen Harry Potter. They all turn out to be shitheads who probably eat honeydew.
dad says come back and get the lawn mower out of the pool before mom gets home
Randomize