i wanna do a homemade sex video in sepia and pretend were in the early 20th c
she read insantiy as in-nast-tit-ty and asked what the hell does that mean...
I can't even go pee because I'm making sure he doesn't run off somewhere naked.
I got carried to one bar. Got a piggy back ride to the next bar. I was just testing our drinking team for st pattys day to make sure they are able to handle me more drunk than that.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm stoned at 1030am, watching Maury with my exboyfriend. I need to make better choices with my life.
Would you be mad if I just used the argument "I'm allowed to say that, my best friend is a lesbian"?
Never. I'm proud to help you win arguments.
You asked the waitress what the corking fee would be on the Joose you smuggled into the restaurant.
This isn't just a hangover. I can feel the blood moving through my veins, and it hurts.
I should have been on a postcard. I was sitting in the middle of the forest with a plate full of pot brownies and missing you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All I see when I think of you are dancing penis angels around your head.
I think I ripped my underwear last night doing drunk squats
He sent me a dick pic from work, but I could see all the pizzas in the background. Now I'm just hungry.
gin. gin. Gin. GIN GIN GINGINFFdJH
i just got drunk and created an entire Dr Seuss unit for my first graders.
Dude, my back STILL hurts from carrying the team on BP last night.
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