Third unemployed latin in my bed this week. I'm on a roll
nobody understood you. You kept speaking french and hiding shit in your boobs
I do regret it. But I can't unfuck her
He suggested abortion before I finished the sentence. That was my plan too, but now I feel like should keep it just to prove how big of a dick he is.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just threw up in nordstroms while shopping for moms bday with dad. He distracted workers for me. No more tequila
It's 5:30am in Vegas and I'm eating McDondalds next to crying prostitutes.....low point.
You were with some girl. Your exs best friend. Your shirt was half undone and she was telling you to put your penis away. It wasn't out but you wanted to. Patron is your weaknes.
I swear some just paged for more cock rings over the intercom.
I just burped smoke on the bus. Hello 6:48am
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
At this point, just throw that mattresses away. Or bronze it and display it as a testament to your shame. either is good.
You really could become the cat lady we've always dreamed of.
Did you take the bag w/your drugs & cookie cutter?
I should get an "I gave blood today" type of sticker, but instead it would say "I went balls deep today"
I literally just want someone to fuck me and buy me cheeseburgers. I don't even want a relationship at this point. Just a chew toy and some food.
I'm about 40% drunk. You know, not drunk enough to light the bar on fire, but drunk enough to let the cougar hit on me.
Randomize