I hope God doesn't listen to everybody on a Saturday night.
do you know anything about the $5 bill with my name stapled to it in my purse??
I'm drinking bacardi out of her mom's eco-green starbucks mug and chasing it with her sister's "for track only" vitamin water. Hello suburbia
hey, sorry about all the butter. I thought it was gonna help.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
there is no amount of schooling that prepares you for when your morbidly obese 45 year old patient tells you she has her clit pierced.
Well that's another check off the sexual bucketlist of things I never wanted to experience.
Just casually ripping a bowl in the chicken coop, with the chickens. NBD
Milk that cash cow for all the shots she's worth
I made a wizard staff out of Keystone light... I am therefore the smoothest wizard in all of our university's history.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So I got my junk pierced since we've fucked. You should get in on this.
Ehhh, contemplating pain killers and fruit snacks if that's any indication.
Killing two birds with one stone tonight: mastrabation meditation. Win win.
He said he remembers me...standing on a snowy roof, smoking a blunt, yelling "you're pretty fly for a white guy" at him. Sounds about right.
well, shes hot as hell, but she does keep saying she's the president of the loch ness monster's fan club, so that's kinda a red flag...
My roommate's overnight guest is screaming about the dog licking his asshole. I need a new place to live.
Randomize