woke up 7 floors down in the lobby...i my underwear. New high or new low?
New experience?
dude you have to find out what a girl's name is before you sleep with her. if her name is debbie she's boring, if her name is lauren she's an overrated hoebag, if her name is meagan she gived bad head.
So I was blaaazed. & while he was in me all I kept thinking was how bad I'd rather be watching The Office.
On a scale of 1 to 10 how hot is the girl you're about to fuck?
Strong 6
That's an oxymoron.
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There's a level of bonding between people at the liquor store at 10:30 in the morning that's unrivaled
I apologize for forcing you to look at my boob when we were high. It was uncalled for
You mean the girl who was passed out face down on the bathroom floor until 10 AM? You're right, she was cute.
she is legit wearing a plastic bag around her neck as a necklace. she says it serves two purposes.
Listen up tinkerbell, You're gonna come to the bar, hit on some fat chicks, and step up when I punch someone in the face.
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He got completely naked and is now just standee there next to my bed poking at my hamster. Why can't I get sex the normal way.
Yes sir I did. I'll be there with a guest. And no, my date won't be an escort.
Well if that changes tell the escort to bring cocaine.
Like I'm sorry but "it'll be fine trust me" IS NOT VERY REASSURING ASSHAT. Now take off your pants.
I've peed in two sinks in the past two weeks. No one should be able to say that.
When I walked out of the bathroom and you were literally dancing, you looked at me and said 'this is how I dance'. And then continued.
you were huddled over the toilet, throwing up, and every few seconds you'd look up and say "this is such a waste of vodka" then put your head back down and start puking again
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