It's like God shit irony all over that family
This is so stupid. Now I have to call the party planner and tell her that the break up party is off. They decided to get back together.
I would say I am sorry for punching you last night, but I found the pictures you took on my camera and it all came rushing back.
Things I have that belong to you: shorts, headband, bra, purse, chinese food, vodka, and blood on my jeans. Happy homecoming.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i woke up to banging and pieces of ceiling falling on my face
Apparently she saw two women get in a slapping match over a comforter at target yesterday. She said it was awesome. Clearly I take after her.
But today feels so special with katie getting herpes and me cleaning my room. Good things are happening.
Dude, just be careful. Her invitation for BJ is just a trap for her to stick her finger up your ass.
she's like the billy mays of hookups...touch my boobs and i'll throw in this blow job ABSOLUTELY FREE
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I will always remember that night by waking up in that tablecloth the next morning
I text him "Dude. Tryna get fucked here. I only have half the parts. I need your help" I'm sure my mom would be super proud of the woman I have become.
Question: what's the protocol for seeing your mistress walking alongside her clueless boyfriend? If you could answer this ten minutes ago, that'd be great.
the guy working the counter at the liquor store noticed i got my haircut and said it was pretty.....
I think I had sex with a seagull last night. The window is open and there a feathers everywhere.
You’re welcome stay at my house. But, you gotta piss in the toilet
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