I woke up this morning in your mom's car... any ideas?
Segways are the fanny packs of transportation. Useful in some situations, but you always look like a tool when using one.
is it sad that whenever i need to spell "independent" i still sing that one rap song?
I told her at least we still had each other. That's when she started crying.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he just asked me for a tag team. like at least let me get changed out of your roommates clothes from last night first...
I don't have to hold her hair back as she blows me but I do have to hold the ball on the Santa hat
Can we put this graduation on the shelf figuratively and go drink
If I don't go to Australia I'm using that towards a new car. If I do I'll use it to buy a koala.
Side note. I love it when I think I've sobered up and then I get a second wind of drunk
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
pretty sure tht was the guy who once went to the club dressed as waldo. he still looks weirdly fuckable.
Less adorably, the dog stared me down, yelping, while I gave him a morning blowie.
Like I want to yell at him for pissing on my floor but there's still a chance its my pee....
We drunkenly built a couch fort and fucked in it. I've known her since preschool. This was every childhood fantasy mixed with adult dreams come true.
she used her teeth again, but this time it was out of love
I've seen too many naked penises for this to be a normal Monday morning
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