there really is only one way to give a PowerPoint presentation in your senior capstone class: still drunk.
either i blacked out mid-sex but remember the beginning and end, or he really only lasted a couple of minutes
I have fiberglass splinters all over my hands and woke up with a sign that says PUMPKINS in my room.
Just in case you were wondering..... I really did just wave goodbye to you with my penis.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Im dating a 38 year old who's lap I can fit in. Tell me I don't have daddy issues.
May the one with the liver that just won't quit win
Remember how he wouldn't sleep with me "out of respect"? Well, Mr. Respect just fingered me in a parking garage.
Her ex wouldn't stop texting her so she started replying with various pictures of Britney spears's breakdown
The trash can in my living room is full of Popsicle sticks and my vibrator has taken up permanent residence on my coffee table. I'm not doing anything productive. Clearly.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Who are you, and why are you in my phone as Elf on the Shelf
Note to self don't stop having sex during an earthquake! I call it a 6.1 orgasm!
Well he wouldn't kiss me so I made out with a German girl, took a shot with my boss, and I think I sprained my ankle. It was a quiet Sunday for me.
Fuck you guys, I'm trying to nurse my hangover and eat my chicken tenders in peace.
I wanted to write an apology letter to my vagina after that.
I brought those bastards cookies so they can deal with my sex noise, fuck them and their roommate asses
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