swears the blind dude on this train is faking. Every day he stumbles and falls into a different girl's lap and then has to grab her tits to steady himself.
She looked like a pterodactyl.....but dude i love dinosaurs
It's my birthday, I plan on masturbating and boating, maybe even masturbate on the boat.
You really need to tell him that he has a girlfriend. I'm not sure he knows
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i was gonna do a lot worse than just throw cat food on you while you were passed out, but then you sleep vomited and i felt a little bad
Just realized Ive had sex in or around each thing listed in Green Eggs and Ham besides the fox.
They're making him take his shirt off cause they think he's the bouncer. We're in his backyard.
I'll explain later but basically I was feeling dangerous, I'm dressed as Ann Romney and Ann Romney is a bad bitch.
we got her to the bathroom intime. all she could say was 'now my bladder is empty just like my soul'
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Eh maybe I should give her a chance. Let's see where making a porno takes the friendship
Dude, you flipped off a cat from my balcony and yelled at it to get a house
I woke up this morning with a half eaten bagel and an empty pack of imitation crab meat in my bed. This is going to be my response to pick up lines now.
RAAAAAAAAWWWWRRRRRR
THATS ME HOWLING MY ENJOYMENT OF THE THINGS WE CAN DO WHILE GETTING DRUNK
I got horny for like a second but the eggplant snapped me out of it
Totally unrelated, but by the way I DO have one ball bigger than the other.
Randomize