I want to drop kick Stephanie Meyer
you spelled her name wrong
not you too!!
champagne bombs. Yes, i think that is where things may have gotten out of control.
Being a slut is okay if you're being a polite slut, right?
and now that ive poetically compared your vagina to a nuclear missile, I hope youre prepared for this date.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can already almost taste penis in my mouth
He lectured me about the dangers of drugs while wearing a sombrero and doing interpretive dance.
Why do I love Florida? Because I just quit my job because it's too pretty a day to go to work and I'm going to the beach to eat seafood and drink beer.
If you don't sing me a lullaby then I'll just take shots till I pass out
But theres a keg here and me gusta
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She told me I made the cut, and to write my name and number on the white board by the door. I was the 7th number down.
You have ruined sex with him for me. Now all I think is "boy scout" and I want to go home
Just saw the bridesmaid use her new sister in law as a stripper pole
I don't know if the fact that I carry lube in my purse means I'm living life right or I'm doing it wrong..
The oven caught fire. I put it out, but called the fire department just to make sure it was okay since the smoke wasn't going away
You just wanted to meet firemen
Every time I download Tinder again, I hate myself a little more.
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