Moan for me like Helen Keller
my phone is just a graveyard for last nights mistakes. at least it's giving me hints as to where i was though, i'm like carmen sandiego
Straightened my pubes. My dick looks like John Lennon fucked Gonzo.
when i spit it made a heart shape. i think it's a sign
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I seem to remember you being very disappointed that drinking Michelob Ultra didn't give you magic powers.
He legit asked if he could come over for a hug. I feel like I've been booty called by a 12 year old.
Oh wow. I almost tweeted #TweetFromTheBackOfACopCarTuesday but I didn't think it was that appropriate
I was galloping around pretending to give birth to pbrs. I could have used a mask.
I met a pornstar at his bachelor party and signed his shirt giving him wedding advice
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you went to ralph's and bought all of their pears and left them outside my house
She proceeded to flip everyone off then open a Heineken with her teeth.
He was watching porn and riding a stationary bike in the living room
Haha we both slept with guys named Brad born on may 1st. This is a proud day for sisters.
Yeah just had sex and grub hub came right after he did. I’d say it’s a win.
How high do u want to get? Just kind of high or yelling at swans high...
Swans
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