I was staring at you from my window across the quad. I wanted to let you know so it's not creepy
Afterwards she curled up in my dog's bed and slept there all night
How mad was your dog?
I know its been a few months but you must know you hve the 2nd biggest dick I've ever seen. 1st place went to a rapper so don't feel bad.
I went to the gas station and the lady goes I remember you. Broken sunglasses and puke on your car.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I could get a dump truck for 1000. Think of the possibilities.
He wanted to take a picture with our pizza to show his mom that I was pretty but more importantly that he practices in "sober" activities
Can we just ponder our lives for a second.
No I think my brain may implode in a puff of cocaine and sparkles.
I'm starting to question if I'm gonna need to bring a raincoat just to drink around u
U act like I can cum on command
I was looking at our sex bingo and pretty much every single row or column has at least one kind of person that is harder to find than all the rest
We've made things harder for ourselves
The struggle will be part of the fun
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm gonna forget you just shared your personal blowjob aesthetic with me and move on
That same damn squirrel keeps staring at me like I did something wrong. Nature knows when you're hung over.
You stole my car to go to your boyfriends. Now your parents are fucking in the next room at top volume, and I have no way to escape..thought you should know that the amount of therapy I'll be needing for this is expensive.
You're the best friend ever.
I got a gay guy to motorboat me. These tits could change the world, I'm telling you.
Did you apologize to him for the trip to the strip club as a first date or is that something that just gets swept under the rug??
But what is a man profited, if he should gain Joe Biden and lose Alex Trebek?
Randomize