Hahaha figures, hmm should I spank you? Or throw a cow at you?
Hey kate, how is it?
sloppy...it's emily. kate just tried to do a keg stand. they dropped her. we're leaving.
i have essays due online every friday...im just going to write 'im hungover' for every one
Wine + wine + wine + wine + bud light = puke.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just caught myself doing the gator chomp to my tv. I need to get laid.
I woke up this morning to 7 word documents that all said "remember to be extremely angry at your jerk of a brother." What the hell did you do to me last night?
Dude manswers just said that a guy can only cum up to eight times in one day. I'm gonna prove that show wrong.
ha well at least you have goals.
what is the protocol for being hungover enough to vomit in a potted plant during my botany lecture?
Also, just almost microwaved cereal. Thank god mom is here to stop me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nah I'm perfectly content solely banging the married bartender once a week.
That's practically a relationship for you
When I see myself in tank tops and push up bras I seriously wonder why I'm not President.
is it weird to think that girls born in '96 are now legal?
I was his one phone call from jail and I hung up on him. He's fine though were gonna go to a party now.
If I get my period the weekend your parents are gone i'm removing my uterus.
As long as it's more "this is where i see an issue" vs "psst.... tiddies" then i have no argument
Randomize