Okay, I have a threesome with foreigners and suddenly I'm a man-whore
I don't know where your sunglasses are, I was too preoccupied with girls not old enough to drive past midnight.
I just febrezed the jizz on my pants and wore them again, gross or eco-friendly?
Eco-friendly.
I found a horn on the street but it's okay I disinfected it with vodka
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The walk of shame out of a freshman dorm isn't so bad when you're 25, nobody questions you because they think youre gonna bust them for having weed
I gave you head at the stadium on a Thursday night ESPN game. That damn well better be worth points on the score board!!!
Dude I am not desperate enough to pay my dealer in change. Maybe tomorrow.
Had a booty call cancel on me tonight. Said he hurt his back. So this is what single and 30-something is like. Suck.
Definitely just found that pen in the microwave. What the fuck.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was on my way last night when some asshole yelled "make better life choices" out the window of his car. I felt so self conscious I went home.
if a girl cums in a dorm room and no one hears it did it really happen?
What, I can't laugh at my sister being driven crazy by Facebook randomly assigning chat significance to the guy she lost her virginity to?
Rome wasn't built in a day - my bedroom skills weren't obtained in some boring monogamous relationship. Same thing. Right?
Not sure if I should ask if I can have my underwear back or just avoid that all together.
This is the third time I have overheard parents tell their children "don't be that girl" in reference to me. I'm either doing something horribly wrong or amazingly right
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