nosebleed girl is getting lots of praise
Remember that night when i almost got you arrested? Is that funny yet?
At least I can take solace in the fact that with 8 billion some odd people in the world, at least one of them is shitting in their own car right now.
I need to buy a mesh tank top to fit in in Florida. Where do they even sell that shit?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so, i drunkenly called my religious roomie because i was lost and told her if she couldn't come find me, jesus would condemn her to hell for not leading me to the light .. too much?
I'm taking last night back. It officially didn't happen. Tell your friends.
At least it earned you a couple drinks. And something tells me you've touched grosser things with less incentive.
I love our strategizing... I wish we used the same passion for planning our lives and future that we use for planning our drunken escapades... We would both be doctors by now, I swear
How could I forget your birthday? I have an alarm in my phone to ask you for sex that day.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He paid the bartender with money from the tip jar then proceeded to hit on me in front of my date. I love frat dances
They're frat boys at heart and have sickly, dusty, rotting souls.
Yep if he's taking selfies he's probably on drugs again.
I love how four vibrators are within reach of me right now, but not a single hair brush or comb
He's going to be in the air guitar championships in june. Need I say more.
She's chasing the cat around the house hitting it with a cardboard sword yelling "there can be only one!"
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