I am so gay it hurts my loins. Going to see She's Just Not That Into You... again. Ohhh my goodness.
I think my plan to not drink this week was just ruined by my mothers discovery of the chat function on facebook
By the way, turns out "Danny B" is his penis. Not his cousin. I was right.
you were sitting on the floor eating oats. how should i react?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Its ok we found him,,, He is in the bathroom trying to write his life story on a roll of toilet paper.
drunkie insisted on stuffing the rest of his scrambled eggs in his pockets before we left ihop. we really should have left a better tip
I'm gonna sleep with her just to prove to my roomate that shes a slut and he's wasting his time
after I lost so many games of beer pong they made me be a troll, I sat under the table and told riddles while retrieving balls.
I took an adderall. This is weird. My eyes are really wide open and I am really good at staring. I've written on 9 peoples walls and updated my status. I am getting shit DONE!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No he's here. We were watching Harry Potter stoned as shit and he fell asleep with his head in my lap. I'll figure out what to do with him after Harry gives Dobby the sock.
I was trying to pee in the bushes and the person who lived in the house where the bushes were planted started knocking on the window to get me to stop peeing in their bushes
That's one good thing about being an only child. I can masturbate wherever the fuck I want
I mean of all the things to be cockblocked by, Taco Bell is pretty high on the list
Did I literally just offer a blowjob for help moving? Yes. Yes, I did.
Who did he bring home?
Idk. But did you see her shoe choice by the stairs, I'm really not expecting anything great.
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