Yeah. He most definitely jizzed himself in the face.
shouldn't i get a discount if shes pregnant?
Just got caught pissing on a plant in her room while she was in the shower first word out of my mouth were my bad
I should have known I was in trouble when you started pouring shots all over me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
$100 bras are my way of telling my boobs that I love and appreciate them, and all the metaphorical doors they have opened for me.
and a jello shot exploded in my bra last night. Now I have blueberry smurfette boobs. Awesome.
FONT CPME TO THE TRUK. I REPATE SONT COME TO THE TRUCK WERE GETTON FRAEKY
I vote for a trading skills night. You teach me to juggle, I'll teach you knife fighting, and we'll both learn banjo
I just pulled the nickels from earlier out of my bra in class. The guy next to me is either terrified or intrigued.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That's the fall semester you first snorted drugs off my ass I think
I spilled beer everywhere which led to an oil fire and me melting a spatula again. And then I was late to class so I explained what happened to the teacher.
The 4th is next week. If we don't get to a new level of high, we will be letting down George Washington.
I'm not even pretending to study anymore. I'm straight up sleeping in the library
Well he waved at me as he was leaving so he def noticed the staring, and by staring i mean blatant eye fucking from across the bar..
What a weekend. It started with me realizing i might not be straight and ended with me spraining my foot.
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