I wish i knew how bad drinking and hieghts were before i got up here
I was watching truelife I'm transgendered. This tranny already got a date a week after getting a vagina. I've had a vagina my entire life and can't get a date.
Weird. Haha. I guess taking advice from batman is a good idea.
i wish i could, but i promised myself i wouldn't sleep with anyone who couldn't grow a beard for a while. it's not you, it's crosby.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just got eleven picture messages of my dick and balls hanging out of my shorts last night. I guess it really is summer when the fratastic, man-thigh exposing shorts come out...
Bro i heard that. I've seen so many balls this month its like march madness all over again
The great thing about skinny blondes is that they're all interchangeable.
I love our strategizing... I wish we used the same passion for planning our lives and future that we use for planning our drunken escapades... We would both be doctors by now, I swear
Just got attacked by a family of raccoons, I have the worst luck.
Fuck you for setting me up with the guy from the Nickelback cover band
Payback for not stopping me from fucking the guy in the wookie costume
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i found you in bed eating fish fillets dipped in chocolate pudding
Whatever the emoticon is for "balls deep". That.
Snaps to my Ella Fitzgerald station for such a jazzy walk of shame
We had sex in the church bell tower and somehow it still feels right.
Just remembered that I got laid thanks to my glow in the dark Batman belt buckle. Need to wear it more often.
It's next to that place that has cock fighting.
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