She smells like mac and cheese, right after you add the cheese. It's strangely erotic.
Haha, just learned changing others iPhone passcodes is fun while drunk but not fun the next morning.
Too late. I'm going over there. I'm a bad example for all women: Do as I say, not who I do.
I get free beer too. Its called a vagina and its accepted everywhere like visa
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I only make drug deals in a British accent. It's my way of making sure it doesn't get too sketch.
I have fb friend requests from two random swedish brothers... Must have something to do with that hostel I stumbled into on mardi gras
he's been in the country 4 hours and we just did it in the closet. he called me "miss flirtatious in the cupboard." i'm in love.
she tossed me in the back of the car and said "god gave u the gift of life and I wanna swallow it"
I went around and congratulated every guy that had a beard for having one
Goddamn tequila
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Small children cheering my name. I am not a decent enough human being to feel comfortable with this.
Should we buy the taco bell before hand? Not having taco bell on Quattro de mayo isn't a risk I'm willing to take
I found one of your hair extensions on the dance floor. You put it back in your hair
anyone who texts me today gets a complimentary picture of my mangled foot. starting with you.
ewwwww wtf when you left last night you were fine?
Besides the one of you shaking your cock for 10sec that was one of the best snapchat's ever haha
OMG -- There are strippers in the bathroom crying because their power moves aren't good enough to win the competition
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