We just picked up about 540 lbs of women....
I just realized that I've become that person they make the alcohol warnings on medicine for.
I think i just got paid for sex with a hot pocket... and i accepted
shut up i haven't hooked up with anyone since 45 minutes ago
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so i never found you. but i found vodka. so its kinda the same
Also, I'm sewing my entire Halloween costume by hand. I better get laid at every single party I go to.
I'm in class. I'm not opening a page with the words "death erection" in the link. There's people behind me lol.
We haven't even moved into the apartment yet and she has already screwed two of our neighbors. This is going to be the longest 12 month lease of my life.
I found his retainer in my ass crack. It smells like shame.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Printed off fake 'Producer' Sundance badges for us. Pretty sure they double as free passes for getting laid by 'actresses'. Testing this theory tonight.
there's nothing weirder than waking up to your mom eating breakfast on the couch that you fucked her coworker on last night.
she keeps dunkaroos and gatorade in her bed. yep pretty sure im in love.
I threw my back out having sex last night. I don’t know whether to high five myself for a job well done or cry because I’m old.
YOU GOT ME SO DRUNKK
i got me so drunk!
when I said eat the rich I didn't mean like that but here we are sucking that capitalist dick
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