piano lessons. No girlfriend. What's up.
i cvme to yuor rooom...wherer are youf?
please be gone before i get back
The producers of Marley and Me owe me about $5 million. That's the dollar amount of embarrassment compensation required for making a 24-year-old male cry publicly on an airplane while sitting in the middle seat between a gorgeous babe and a guy with a do-rag
it's not gay if you rub your penis between their butt cheeks and pretend they are tits
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She's been drinking and was roller blading. I'm sure you can do the math
He said my labia gave my vagina a "cute personality"
I just shotgunned a beer alone in the bathroom...what do you expect from me
That's just a really flattering way of saying, "Yes, you're useless, but you have great tits."
I accidentally sent him a snapchat of my boobs and now we're going on a date tomorrow... Could be worse.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My liver is fucking rocky. Get knocked down 7 times and gets up 8. World champ
I just wanna get drunk and go sledding in my kayak
this is a PSA to never have sex in a bed from ikea
I love standing in line at rite aid for 10 minutes being forced to talk to my ex's mom about life while I'm holding nothing but yeast infection cream
You took your pants and underwear off as soon as we got to Melissa's and just walked around the entire time like it was completely normal. We even ate pizza together with your vagina exposed. You're my hero.
Will exercising make me less horny?
Randomize