I just spent an hour correcting all the grammar and spelling of all the 2pac songs on my ipod
At least a dozen asian tourists will be showing their friends pictures of me peeing off of Hoover Dam with a cop pointing his gun at me when they get home. I worry about the impact on their children.
She washed lettuce and peppers in the shower and proceeded to make a salad
where's my purse there's an important taco in it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
buying my parents vodka for Christmas is like buying a normal person socks.
well you decided to make everyone "drinks" which was sprite and beer mixed.
Selling Girl Scout Cookies outside bars for higher than retail value has got to be the most profitable idea. Ever.
just had to make the 420 edibles gluten free and kosher for passover.
haha she has always seemed a little off. when i met her i was told she was the queen slut. and she had a crown on at the time. it seemed appropriate.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
P.S. I just made up pleasure scepter for the purpose of that last message.
Beer acquired. Food is cooking
Wow, you are almost sliding into home plate for some stellar fellatio
He asked if I could ever take him seriously, I told him I just like his doggy style.....needless to say I snuck out after an awkward cuddle session... I wont be calling him at 2 am anymore.
doing the walk of shame back to your house in nothing but a bed sheet was definitely not one of my proudest moments..
You may be fancy. But you'll never be having cheesy garlic bread and scotch at 3am fancy.
Election Day 2016 shall forever live in infamy as the day when I hobbled through my neighborhood, mascara melting down my face, wearing one slipper and a cast, blood and cum all over my skirt, carrying a box of wine, and no one even noticed.
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