thought so. i woke up and he was playing with my eyeliner. I MAKE GREAT CHOICES.
No matter how fun it seemed the night before you will always regret taking those pictures, you will always regret eating as much as you did, but you will never regret the great lengths you had to got to get those bruises.
Walked by a shop giving away free donuts this morning. Best walk of shame ever
OH MY GOD. JESUS STRIPPER. THERE IS A JESUS STRIPPER HERE. A STRIPPER DRESSED AS JESUS.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Long story short, the rash from your last birthday party told me not to go to this one.
He told me he wanted to show me something beautiful, then just started peeing off the bridge into oncoming traffic
Tried making out with pop rocks in my mouth. That shit is magical.
Also, if you all get arrested i'm coming to laugh at you because i don't have the money for bail.
He also turned out to be underage (the fucking liar) so we had to get drunk on cooking sherry
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If there's one thing I learned yesterday, it's that if I really wanted to I could be mayor of Toronto.
Killing two birds with one stone tonight: mastrabation meditation. Win win.
My Captain America poster fell down. Cap is disappointed in my life decisions.
Yeah yeah I know I have to bring your dog back.
I have just received a gold-medal-deserving sext. He wrote me a fucking novel. Not only am I incredibly turned on but I am beyond impressed. He is the sext god. I must bow to him.
Highlight your past hook-ups. You've been stabbed, shot at, run over, and chased down the road...no you can't bring new bar bitch over here!
Dude she has a friend!!!!
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