The verizon commercial has a magical pinata. Candy just keeps coming out. It must be a portal to a candy universe.
Soooo billy mays was on coke. I'm about as shocked as I was when Clay Aiken came out
I could give you a full detailed description of 75% of the penises in that room
he was fingering the outside of my pants..i knew that was my cue to leave
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Fuck buddy has no power. Invited her over to use my shower. I love hurricaines.
Freshman just walked up and thanked me for letting him hide under my bed when the cops showed up to the house last weekend
I feel like I knew it was fucked up, but feared that god would take my dick away if I didn't use it last night.
After a certain point, you just want to make it work. Prove to yourself that you're smarter than the vibrator.
When I woke up next to him on the living room floor, my glasses were broken and it felt like someone rubbed a cactus all over my vag
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Who looks around on a bright, sunny day and says, "you know what? Today I'm going to write gay dinosaur erotica"
Will you rub my calves while I masturbate?
just called AAA to get my keys out of me car and then afterwards realized they were in my pocket...stoner life
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed
You're a wizard. You are a master of disguise. You are beautiful. I love you.
I don't think there's a ladylike way to tell this guy I want to sit on his face
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