finally nailed that neighbor chick. hopefully i can get her wireless password now. free internet trumps moral standards any day
there's something wrong with the internet when a search for "barney the dinosaur violence" comes up with nothing
so he just called his new girlfriend by my name and she was too drunk to even notice how awkward..
He was like a Bill Nye the science guy of sex....he was telling me things about my clitoris that I didn't even know
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we went to get a refill in his room and ended up having sex and passing out. then he woke me up with sex and gave me a beer for breakfast. i never want this to end
We started telling people we were married, and then we hooked up on a park bench
Handicvap rails on the toilet atre soooooo fuckin handy right nmow.
I need a Jamo leash. Just tie it to my wrist and every time you see me reaching for a shot of it, just yank my hand away
Just wanted to say a big ole FUCK YOU for coming out to mom the day before I have to drive with her for 6 hours. Ass hat.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Most girls get hit on with a $7.00 drink. You get hit on with a $750K plane.
I don't need no damn man when I have the cock-a-nator 2000.
Also: I hate her so much. She's out at hooters, making spelling errors, while I'm literally sitting at a clinic getting std tested. Which of us won the morality award in this break up.
He looked so uninterested when the stripper was slapping him. Now his roommates are harassing me about how crazy our sex must be.
hey. this is your former cousin. you boned my best friend last night.
How's work going?
Boring. I have a cat on a leash right now
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