i just spit dirty mouth water on my dentist. and apparently grinning sheepishly and saying "my b" doesn't make it better
What ever happened to making out with a few boob grabs here and there?
I found those 18 whoppers we bought.
he's mad because you were 'slandering his penis'.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
two gay guys came in and bought just a kite and a box of wine. Why cant I have saturday nights that awesome
Well the weddings in 4 days so I already got the eightball lined up and the wii fit all warmed up. Still wanna bet I wont lose 20 pounds by the wedding?
Does hooking up with the gay pledge count as hazing?
It'll be a Christmas-Fucking-Miracle if we get through the ceremony without a groomsman vomming
He was all like, "I think ur the one that got away and I miss you." I replied, "I gave u a hand job once in your hot tub. No need to wax nostalgic about it."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He looked at me like he knew me, and I looked at him like I had seen his penis before.
I just threw up vodka and hot dogs in a handicapped stall with someone in it who couldn't make me leave because he couldn't walk.
I'm to sober to make life ruining decisions and alcohol is to expensive at this bar for me to fear that level of drunk happening
Your the only person to come back from spring break with a non std related infection
I TOOK A FINGER IN THE BUTT YOU CAN OPEN THIS MESSAGE
I took a picture of you last night while you were drunk, trying to smoke a bowl through your nose. It's now your contact id.
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