omg omg i just fucked paul. i need to stop doing this kind of thing.
wait, who's paul?
exactly.
oh my she just said cum sticks to her dentures so when she blows if they let her she takes them out
I think I can smell my own vagina right now
I just found a pubic hair on my dick that wasn't mine.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Went to my car this morning. Found a waffle from Waffle House in the front seat. No idea how it got there. So hung over I ate it.
At some point last night Lemondrops turned into me doing shots of vodka and eating sugar packets at the bar.
I'm lowering my standards just so I can get laid, but I draw the line when a guy spells cool kewl
I want a bunch of melted cheese. or a penis. or a penis covered in melted cheese
well I woke up with about $3 in odd change and a note that said "I'm borrowing your weed." So, no, it didn't go to well.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Everyone should know the rule that if your dicks touch during a threeway you just make lightsaber noises and move on.
She said if her future children dont have blue eyes she wont love them
Lets just put it this way. Im meeting his nana after a mind blowing orgasm.
I feel like a drive thru vagina
Once you've had an oral std scare, you're an expert.
I was trying to sext but got a notification that my dad and professor both commented on my Facebook photo. Bad timing.
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