if you are receiving this text, you are one of the people i hate
Really stoned
just sent my roommate on a cheese run
Did I tell you that you looked cute last night? I looked at the pictures. I lied.
I think I can smell my own vagina right now
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
omfg. get on facebook. the science olympiad team had a rave.
she played "i just wanna get married" by jagged edge while we were having sex. why cant i avoid stage 5 clingers
there's a picture of him beating off in the library with a cowboy hat. please steer clear of this one if you ever want to be respected.
She just called to say she can support a full bottle of vodka between "the girls" now. I'm going over, don't try and stop me.
so how does soaking flintstones gummy vitamins in vodka not make perfect sense
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What did he say? I couldn't hear him over the sound of how awesome his beard is.
Do you have any need for a scary clown mask?
I found dried jizz from last night on my leg while feeding an infant a bottle. I am not fit to care for children
It's a sad day when you're not really phased by the McChicken video only because you've seen weirder porn.
IM FILLED WITH SANDWICHES AND SELF LOATHING
Woke up to find my underwear in my purse to only remember I took them off at the airport
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