She threw up a whole curly fry. A. WHOLE. CURLY. FRY.
I really wish I had added "blowjob on a slide at a playground" to my bucket list before last night.
I would never do this in real life. It's only college.
Fuck that. I'm not afraid to die. I'll prove you can survive on a bagel bites and rum diet.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It was like getting a handjob from a frost giant
The topic of sex in the jamba banana suit has come up on multiple occasions. We're just waiting for a moment to try it out.
I am his drunk Jesus. I will love him from afar because he's my little lamb
I moved out... There's nothing left but his childhood trophies...
You should make him a new one, you know like "you suck at relationships but thanks for trying participation award"
I'm ready to get married, then we can lie around watching anime and eating pizza while he rubs baby oil on me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Tell me again why we had to Facebook stalk your therapist?
are you watching the world series?
I've made out with alex bregman... so yes
I'm sitting here drinking whisky and listening to The Wiggles, I don't need a social life
They left me at home... I'm a liability
Anytime you wish.we are doing double shots in the kitchen,and I drank a beer in the shower,so...the sooner you get here,the sooner you can get on our level.
apparently i ended up downloading "thats amore", giving him head, and singing it... all at the same time
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