I will make out with the first guy who tries to pick me up with a lyric from a rap song. I won't even reply, just be on him like whoa.
I was at circle k buying gas and this girl in a papa johns uniform comes up and is like " I've got a bunch of extra pizzas. Large peperoni for $5." then she went to her trunk and pulled one out. It felt like a drug deal for a fat person
Instead of a promise ring i got my clit peirced, its a promise that ill always give you ass! =]
you had a panic attack, pissed yourself, and started crying. you never go above the kiddie level of my lil bros schools haunted house ever again.
round 2?
EVER.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Apparently I added "small children" to my likes on facebook. glad to know that's where my subconscious is at.
No.. It's totally over.. He deleted the poke I sent him.. That makes it official.
and then you seriously asked him to senior prom..which freaked him out since you told him earlier you were 22
it was really awkward meeting your mom for the first time while i was still wearing the condom we were using.
Every shot buddy I have I end up blowing. I don't know whether this pattern is good or bad.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Post walk of shame: realized the underwear I put on when I left was another girl's underwear.... woof
If you want me to retract my crazy cat lady comments pictures of yourself dressed as a cat are not the way to do it.
If you're wondering why you have playpen balls it's because we stopped at chuckie cheese on the way home.
Sometimes I feel like I should become a beautician purely for my ability to shave pretty shapes into my pubic hair.
One eye has cum in it and the other has sunscreen
summertime
So our bartender was in the bathroom the same time I was so I ordered a beer mid stream.....is that weird?
Randomize