I'm torn. Shes everything I ever wanted, but I just cant get past the story about having drunken sex with her dog in high school.
we've progressed from teabagging to lighting eachothers asses on fire. this cannot be a good path.
I told her i was enlisting in the air force tomorrow.....it was like the activation code to her vagina
herpes texted me again. he says he wants my vagina.
ok we should really consider changing this guys nickname...
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She keeps referring to it as an "us" Either she is seriously mistaken on what fuck buddies are or she learned another meaning of the word "us"
i crashed through a building. if that counts then yes, i went out with a bang.
At some point last night was I riding a garbage can.. Things are starting to come back to me
Kristy will be communicating through my phone. Due to her current blood alcohol level, the laws of Pennsylvania, Erie county, and common decency have deemed that she is no longer permitted to have her own phone.
And now we should drink to that moment where you realize you didn't exactly think things through.
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You can't just be this socially awkward and sexually frustrated and jealous as a fucking demon and be expected to stay sober.
Next time, dont ever let me talk to a guy drunk, especially if I have class with him the next day
Who do you have class with??
The guy that pulled down his pants in the middle of the dance floor to show me his tattoo
I actually feel bad for him. He has me as a girlfriend and he's like a saintly cleanly person... And I'm over here telling him to jizz on my back and shit.
It's still fucked up that my mom let me think Vanilla Ice was my dad for YEARS just because she thought it was funny.
Maybe it’s too soon to casually tell the boss that I went to Tulsa for some dick last night
He sided with his father, so I slashed his tires. I’d say that’s a fair trade.
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