he just sent me a friend request on facebook. i wish it were physically possible to vomit on him through the internet.
I got vodka in my stocking. Having an alcoholic mom has paid off.
he is a creepy guy.
yea thats what heroine does to ppl.
I want you to come here and listen to her climax and then tell me how funny you think it is.
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you think she would figure it out that ever dude that fucks her is just doing it bc they are in a contest to bang the fattest girl
He's only a little bit crosseyed.
I think this is one situation where "a little bit" doesn't mean much.
If we both stop thinking about your penis for just a moment, we'd realize it is important and good that you are spending quality time with your family
She can drink whiskey without a chaser and has a fridge full of whipped cream. Girlfriend potential
I have vodka soaked strawberries. My latest tarot card reading hinted at a lesbian/bisexual coming out. I doubt I survive the night.
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Welcome to the single world where it seems vibrator batteries are in short supply and making a sandwich while naked at 2am is relatively normal
If I had a vagina, my apartment would have been the Atlantic
I'm upset for all the future generations who can't drunkenly get cheesy bread
Atleast we had sex on the couch before your ex took it from you
Remind me to do laundry tomorrow so i have something decent to take off when i get laid.
You'll probably laugh but I am currently in bed in the fetal position wrapped in only my ninja turtles towel. Save me.
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