dude i just saw a drunk guy attempt to get by IUPD and throw a uprooted bleacher seat over the edge of the stadium. funniest thing of life.
details please.
they caught him 10 rows from the top. the first thing he said was "wait I can explain, i just have to throw this over first."
When I got to his place, he served wine and cheese and made me sit on the balcony while he read his poetry to me. He cockblocked himself.
He just said "wow, thats some rly nice hair! And those teeth..thosee are some cool teeth"
You were pretty dunk by the time you introduced the vase as your best friend.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He was drinking a long island through his Breathalyzer tube.
Life lesson: When you compete in an impromptu "bloody mary chug-off," in the end, no one wins.
FYI, your girlfriend is on her way to the ER. She tried to balance a bottle of jack on her chest. Smashed toes, blood all over patio. Call her, kinda funny though.
raced the clock twice to day to see if i could get off before my computer died and before i left for my noon bar crawl... win, win
lets go back to having secrets in our friendship
thanks for the 52 voicemails of you and crystal reciting the pleg of allegance
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think i should wear mittens next time we have sex.
So i had a feeling this dude with one leg in a wheelchair was following me around Walmart turns out I was right. He just asked for a picture of my feet.
i mean i let him but still...
I don't know what's worse the fact that I woke up with a clit piercing or the fact that I didn't pay for it.
Congrats on dating a convict, there's no fitbit badge for that one.
I can get something to clone your cock for $40. It's worth it. It's my birthday present to myself.
OMG I CAN GET A GLOW-IN-THE-DARK ONE
Ik youre sleeping but fyi its 5:32am I'm sitting in the middle of the road bra less and shoeless with boxers in my hand and no ride. Shits real crazy.
Randomize