He doesn't like you, he likes u not having a gag relfex
you have a cum towel under your bed, you're the definition of single
Uh no. you let me handle it. trust me: I can paint the Mona Lisa in tints of bitch.
Dude made his own urinal by punching a hole in the wall and pissing in it rather than waiting in line. That is the stuff of legends.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My therapist thinks I shld paint u something to show u my appreciation 4 ur friendship. 1) she must think I'm rite on the brink of no friends 2) this is real
I rigged together two of my vibrators for more power... I've created a monster.
That commercial was clearly aspirational. I think Arbor Mist would pair nicely with Oscar Meyer
If you're wondering why you have playpen balls it's because we stopped at chuckie cheese on the way home.
Nothing says Merry Christmas like gifting a bottle of rum and finishing it yourself then leaning over at the dinner table to puke it back up.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You fed me pizza off a sword last night.
That moment when you cant decide between eating spaghetti or a Popsicle for breakfast
He kept saying I needed to go to the hospital and it just made me want to call him a pussy so I went to bed
Apparently I told him he would be good for human sacrifice.
The closest I'll come to committing is leaving sex toys at their house
Decided to stop by the store on my walk of shame. I must really look like shit, a six year old girl just walked up to me and said "my mommy wanted me to tell you Jesus loves you." Thanks kid.
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