He introduced her to the DMA meeting by saying: in the past few years i've never seen someone work so hard for so little success
Next time, if you wake and bake, make sure you nail the wake part. Not easy to explain to mum. Or the fire brigade.
We sat in your minivan all night in a parking lot pretending we were in the magic school bus going to the sun
we made margaritas with slurpies from 7-11 and beer.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Your noise violation report contains the word "five-some"...wtf happened in here?
Like many of my risky ideas this has "burned genitals" written all over it
I tried to fuck this guy who I'm pretty sure has an erectile dysfunction
There was a bottle of vodka and chips in a vase next to the bed
I have just figured that it takes exactly 2 and a half rums to clean the bathroom..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I looked the guy across the room straight in the eyes and said, "If you were any closer to me, we'd be making out right now."
This is the I'm sorry text for running around yelling don't shit on my rainbow, end up in the fetal position crying at 4 am in my car because someone shit on my rainbow
You slapped the bar and yelled "daddys thirsty!" at the lady behind the bar
To be fair I was thirsty
When she told you not to yell you looked directly at me and screamed "Man, she sucks!"
She's high and screaming MEREDITH IS A WHORE
like, there should be nothing wrong with me wanting to watch you put on a bikini and roll around in a kiddie pool of jello
when i saw him today i think my vagina did the equivalent of a stomach growl... its been to long
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