just masturbated through my pocket at the library. hope you're enjoying your saturday night out.
Next time we go to the river, we nominate you to flash people for free booze. Your tits are the biggest.
I imagine anything that isn't a dilldo attached to a jackhammer, powered by a generator won't be amazing enough for you
You made everyone who was on the patio sit on the floor and join your "ship" because you were the Captain. It was cool though. You let me be your 1st Mate.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ha ha. You should see the things I'm doing to my body at Bob Evans.
you know you're a senior when your friends are at the bar before you even get out of class
why the fuck would you go to class? it's karaoke wednesday.
No more Raisinettes before sex. That's what happened. I just put it together
Welcome to stoned Saturday. Full of laser tag and beyonce and awesome
She is currently drunk and caressing my professor's face with one hand.
I'm worried because he hasn't removed it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Your "dubstep at ceilis" resulted in a random naked guy busting into my room and peeing all over my bathroom
I have banged to "The Emperor's New Groove" way more than could possibly be reasonable.
I am at a point in my life where I don't want to brush my teeth for my tinder date because toothpaste and martinis don't mix.
Ever find a porn video so groundbreaking you mentally cancel all your Dick Appointments for the week?
No dude 10 parakeets in your bedroom is 9 parakeets too many. Bring them back. Today!
At this point, I would not mind getting hit by a truck. It would mean I could get this over with quicker.
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