I'm at the doctor and the male nurse (haha) asked me if I smoked, drank or did drugs, and when he said 'drugs' he looked me right in the eye and did a perfect wrist rocket.
just saw ex-bf. should he be more embarrassed to be a college dropout working at rite aid or should i be because i was buying newports and rembrant?
tie
I was holding her hair back and when she quit puking she told me she's been saving her scissor virginity for me.
just found out this city drinks more beer during oktoberfest than rhode island does in a year.. i'm never leaving
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So I vaguely remember making out with you this morning, I think you were on a date?
Just helped a homeless man panhandle outside of Wawa, made him $6.31. Where are you?
I found your knife. It was stuck in my bedroom ceiling.
Your roommate from freshman year just had a baby. I think you're winning. Hooray for fifth year seniors!
The reign of the rally queen is over. Welcome to the age of the walking dead.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was like can I please fuck your hips back into realignment
woke up next to the new dishwasher. set the record for banging a new employee to 6 hours...i should be a professional sexual predator
I lost my bar virginty and made out with a dwarf. It was a good night
I wish more of my problems were easily solvable by taking a good long shit.
I just texted my mom from a strip club.
Andddddd I'm drunk
Andddddd it's Tuesday
That's your opinion.
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