im shaking like a drug addict and i almost just shat my pants when i sneezed...no more patron for me
he peed everywhere. it's like having a puppy.
you came in and threw goldfish on our blue carpet and screamed SWIM BITCHES and then made me drink a best friends potion with you
she played "i just wanna get married" by jagged edge while we were having sex. why cant i avoid stage 5 clingers
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
obviously he has no clue about college dating. it goes drunken sex then the 1st date
And some old guy told me Jesus loves me and I laughed super hard and told him sinning is fun. Hahaha
All I want to do is fuck in the bell tower before it leave this school. Is that too much to ask?
Pretty sure the girl next to me in Chipotle just came out to her mom.
I just realized I turned down a booty call too. To make cheesecake. God help us all
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Drunk. But sober enough to know I hate gymnastics.
You told me you had two boobs that want to be naked for me. I'm just following up on your request.
my ex's current girlfriend held my hair as I threw up. new low.
You answered, dry heaved into the phone twice, & then hung up on me.
You were silly, high, and chewing on things.
First post college job and I got fired within a week. Something tells me that adulthood isn't going to be as much fun as sex and the city led me to believe.
Randomize