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woke up to moans and hushed"we can't do this with him in here." hope they had a good time
She refers to my dick as princess Sarah... oddly I'm okay with that.
the extent of background information i have on her is minimal, but it will get me in her pants
was just hit on by a homeless lesbian. forever alone.
I had a guy present me his prison release form this morning as id
At beerfest, hammered, going to try to not get naked in public but i cant make any promises
i will trade you pizza and a blowjob for a fifth of vodka.
do i get to eat the pizza while you give me the blowjob?
He came, while we were making out fully clothed. I'm going to write a book.
honestly, i'm just crying in the kitchen naked and eating salsa
What's the politically correct way of saying you've made someone your bitch?
So I craigslisted sugar daddies and I'm pretty sure I found us one if you can pretend to be asian.
You know how hard it is to play cool while not drowning and appreciating a pair of butts at the same time?
She wants me to spank her and yell "Kerry! Your father is disappointed with your choices!" Fuck up but crazy hot? Or just fuck up crazy?
You need Xanax blowdarts
I mean there are things broken right and left, I woke up surrounded by dog statues, and we had a vodka bubble bath.
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