my boyfriend just named your boyfriend's penis.
You look at her and you just know the only action she's gotten is from her tampon..
Is it sanitary to roast marshmallows over a cigarette lighter?
Friends don't let friends talk to people who live in Orlando. Sorry I've failed you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She asked me to cum on her. ON her. I think we're out of the friend zone
I was totally going to sleep with him, until he got naked and started swinging around his boner singing "I'm so hard. oh yeah yeah yeah, I'm so hard" like Rihanna.
She just said, "are my livers going to die?"
well, the two that sent pics I've already been with, so at least its not just BAM HERE'S MY PENIS IN YOUR INBOX ENJOY THOSE MEGAPIXELS
Opened my purse to realize I have someone else's birth certificate. What happens to me in college?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I plan on having so much gay sex in our house while you gone.
She's crying about either her ex boyfriend, her one night stand, or her own puke. None of those is worth the tears.
I'm the one on the patio wearing underwear. Holding a pipe. Pigtail and glasses. Can't miss me.
Turns out he's just a recently divorced IT guy. Not a wizard.
All I'm saying is there better be a bow on your dick for my birthday
I’m lazy so obviously looking like a rotisserie chicken is my favourite position
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