so I was just driving high and I stopped to let a pinecone cross the road because I thought it was a hedgehog.
I owe all of my success to double stuf oreos and weed.
I'm sorry i'm just too high to handle anything besides pirates of the caribbean right now.
Just gave my manager part of my viccodin stash-my job is basically secured forever.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So apparently I shook her hand very polite, said weiner and walked away
The security guard told you that the room was off limits and you just looked at him and said,"Its okay, I have a beard".
don't worry i just saved a song to my personal usb drive to give to the dj at the bar. he's playing old school jlo whether he likes it or not.
When exactly does a bender just become a lifestyle?
I'm 50% weirded out and 50% into it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ah, drunk me ordered sushi at 3 a.m. for sober me's lunch the next day. EXCELLENT
When you wake up, I have a unicorn coloring book, crayons, mini cupcakes, and booze.
30-degree weather + Metal Cockring Monday = really hard to pee.
So my class is approximately two vomits from the bus stop. Happy first day of class
Bringing my mom Taco Bell and weed. I'm such a good daughter
These morning walks of shame have became my morning jogs
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