I woke up fully clothed on top of my sheets and i didnt even pee myself..so proud.
Imagine if sharks could walk on land...scary.
ill find time for any girl whos not afraid to grab my junk in front of 100 people
splinters make it hard to masturbate
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he saw my boobs and came all over himself... there goes my whole night.
Woke to a half burnt 20 in my pocket, covered in mud, clothes all wet, so im assuming I didn't use that 20 you gave me for a taxi
thank you for letting me use your house as a brothel.
I dont care how high you are "yes" is not the correct response to "what do you want from Taco Bell" Mom.
I FOUND AN AUSTRALIAN THEY CALL VOMMING 'RAINBOW SNEEZING' I'M NEVER LETTING HIM LEAVE EVER
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Last year I got a dildo in the mail on my birthday. Today it was just a credit card bill. Sadface.
I just did a walk of shame on my own block. one of the old neighbors saw and greeted me "good morning, girl next door"
I'm pretty sure that waking up butt ass naked with a bottle of 151 and a note that said "I didn't want to wake you up, but thanks" proves I had a good time....god bless America
I need to go home for the safety of everyone in a 10 mile radius, especially me
Man, I'm never going tanning again he noticed the burns on my ass
My drug dealer just told me goodnight...I still don't know his name. But I guess you can say we've moved to the next step.
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