the the hell do you 'accidentaily" jizz on a shirt thats folded in a drawer?
I've been at work for less than an hour and have pooped twice already. That's what happens when you start sleeping with your roommate and don't want to use the bathroom at home anymore.
just took a pee in my own yard...decided i had to poo..only got a dingle berry....wiped it away with my finger..help me...my mom AND dad are home.
I would like to add..this is the first november for two years that i haven't cheated on a bf...thank you..thank you
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think I have vodka in my lungs
I scrubbed the bathroom, smoked a bowl, and gave myself 3 orgasms. If the world ends today, I feel accomplished.
I'm not proud of how I threatened that 8 year old during drunken laser tag
His search history includes homemade sex toys and a plunger. I'm scared about what goes on in their place.
Yeah I fingered her in the crowd and the dj saw it and gave me props over the speakers. I got so many high fives.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Thanks for letting me use your ID, there's $120 along with your ID in the mail to cover the Urinating in public fine I got last night....sorry
Btw: some husbands are not impressed by me trying to snap photos of their wives camel toe.
My drug dealer just made me weigh out my own weed because he was in the middle of taking his law enforcement final
I swear she is the Mary Poppins of drugs
You are an awesome peach made of glitter.
So I'm at home coloring while smoking a joint. It can only go down hill from here.
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