She just wrapped her tongue around my thumb.....lizard girl may be my next wife.
he looks like a really good dad on facebook
She made me put my jeans under her mattress so that I wouldn't leave in the morning while she was still sleeping. Apparently I just look like "that guy".
You remember that guy Joey? The pastors son that plays Jesus every year?
Yeah?
Stuck it in his pooper.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It was one of those "since we're naked anyway" type situations
His bond is $50,000..margarita Monday might get cancelled
I AM THE KING OF THE FRESHMEN
how did i know this would happen?
Inquiring minds want to know if your Bf is circumcised
Jen gave my number to some guy she met in NY. He sent me a picture of his weiner. He had nice shoes. I replied with a pic of bacon.
When in doubt always reply with bacon.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I believe in using alcohol to heal from the inside. Not as a topical solution.
You just referred to a pillow with a stolen bra strapped to it as "she". Let that sink in for a minute.
I woke up to my bra draped over his lamp and a huge bump on my head. apparently, I face planted while having sex in the shower..
I just rolled a blunt and took my bra off. I'm not going anywhere.
Haha I'M GOING TO MISS HIS PENIS SO MUCH. But not his bipolarness.
3.5 bazillion penises. So not that hard to find a new good one
The more drunk I get the more I want to steal a lamb
What would be the possible repercussions of lamb theft
Randomize