she came over and started getting naked and said its not like i came over to just hang out
youve hit the jackpot
I wish I could attach your penis to someone I like more than you.
I'm mentally preparing my vagina for this semester. It's fucking welcome week. I'm going to be talking to her all night.
Advice for you. Never grate cheese on your counter then not cleanup the scraps, then have your bf over and endup having sex on the counter. Theres literally cheese melted in and around my ass.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she comes in perfect pitch. hook up with more singers.
He's gonna be so upset when he get's a real job and can't do serious drugs.
Easter was a success. We had an egg hunt and hid weed and conforms inside them. Cooked a ham, made some jello, got wasted. THIS is adulthood?!
After the apocalypse all we'll have is vodka and twinkles.
You just want me for my pizza coupons and my penis.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You threw up a gallon of vomit. I really have never seen anything like it in my decade of partying.
I got home at 1 am on a weeknight with lube in my hair. I'd say it was a successful first date.
I told the cop I was late for a booty call. He still gave me a ticket but he wrote his number on it
Look at us. Planning our business meeting. Including snacks like shrooms & trail mix.
So many questions...the two most important are, where the fuck is my booze and how did you even get the couch through the door?
she hand cuffed me to the bed naked, jumped off the dresser naked, hit her head on the fan and knocked herself out. when her mom came home i had to call her for help, she could have died man...
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